Mama Bear: Gimme peace!

(pulled from my marriage blog, Becoming His Wife )

**For the record, I'm not as mad as I sound. Just sad at how harsh the world can be. Also, any woman who is trying to stay in shape before, during and after her pregnancy - I salute you! Teach me your ways of health! With that being said, I give you...a rant.**

I’m 22 years old. I’m not in the best shape of my life, but I am certainly not in horrible shape either. I’m blessed with two strong legs, arms and the ability to work. I’m young and have more energy now than I might 30 years from now. Most girls my age are out partying, getting belly piercings, daring to wear bikinis and shopping for the tightest, most revealing  tops they can find. But not me.

I’m pregnant.

Naturally, I’m a very conservative woman and don’t like to show an overwhelming amount of skin (or go out partying - you get the point). Modesty is the best policy. But I live in a difficult time. Being raised in a generation where looks are everything, sex sells and media sets the standard for what’s hot and what’s not, it’s always been a bit of a challenge for me, battling sin (the desire to meet man’s goals) and glory (desiring to meet goals Christ has set for me). I’ve had days where I love my body and could care less of what someone else thinks about it and I’ve had other days, months, years…where I’ve sold my soul to self-loathing and punishment when I felt like I just didn’t add up. Everywhere I went there were magazines, songs, stores, movies and even acquaintances that screamed “you’re not good enough” and at times, it was suffocating. By the grace of God, those times are behind me and only small scars remain. I would say that my self-conscious attitude is pretty typical for my age group and gender, being that it’s more than people realize but just like everyone else. We live in a society where we will never be good enough by its standards, and yet we try to be just that: perfect. Isn’t that supposed to be our goal in Christ – not the world? We’ll never be perfect in this life, but we are to strive for glory in Him, not ourselves…right? Well, with the sun on my face and opportunities ahead, I’m married to a wonderful man who loves all my curves, I’m enjoying this simple life in Northwest Iowa and recently, the Lord blessed us with the joy of knowing a few months from now, according to His will alone, we’ll have a child in our arms to hug and kiss all day, every day.

The sad thing is, society doesn’t let that go. Oh no, no, no! It’s not that easy. Just because you are pregnant with no possibility of being thinner than paper, escaping the baby bump and potential stretch marks, will it let you off the hook! They’ve got a demoralizing section for that too. Sometimes I wish they’d just give us ladies a break. I mean, fashion is passion. I get that. I love looking at cute outfits and how this goes with that and these bring out her eyes. It’s fun and it’s an art all of its own. But what’s so sad – and frankly, an embarrassing trend to be sucked into – is that the very beauty that brings us into this earth, the bodies of our mothers working hard for nine months to feed us and keep us safe – is criticized too. Mercilessly.

Now don’t get me wrong. I’m only in my third month of pregnancy and have a ways to go before my body starts really showing any drastic changes besides the bump, but I know it’s all coming like a bad dentist visit. Ads on my internet try to lure me into their creams and potions for eliminating stretch marks. Suddenly I’m noticing every magazine at a grocery store that tells me, from the front cover photo of a gorgeous postpartum mum, how to drop that baby fat faster than you can say “sweet baked potato!”  And spam – oh the SPAM in my email! We, women, can’t get a break. And it’s heartbreaking. 

I know the weight will come. It already is. I know my skin might get blemishes like a high school teenager, I might get varicose veins and things might start saggin’. I know my stomach and hips will probably be painted, little or lots, with those tiger stripes. And while I will do what I can to minimize the apparent stress on my body of caring for this unborn baby as best I can, there is a beauty in allowing these changes to just…be. There are so many mothers in this world who would do anything to have a child of their own and can’t. They would take these aches, pains and marks in a heartbeat. Why are we so cruel to these beautiful portraits of strength, love and devotion? Why can’t I, as a young woman of only 22, enjoy my ever changing body with a complete peace of mind that everything that is and will happen to me is only out of protection and love for my baby? Just as beautiful as is the pure process between a husband and wife to bring a child into this world, so continues that beauty on a mother’s body as she finishes the journey to beginning another’s life.

I don’t know about you, but I am going to welcome those stripes (I can go without the all-day-every-day morning sickness, though, thank you very much!). Some days will be harder than others, but this body is a gift and so is the one that I carry. So back off society and leave this mama alone.